he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
