Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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