I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
