we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
