Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
