I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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