I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
