The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
porn star boner night. come get it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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