forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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