I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
do nipples grow back?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize