A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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