U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
