god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
