Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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