Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
