I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
