lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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