Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize