Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
