My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
