bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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