Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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