is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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