No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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