i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
