in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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