a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
