I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Come see our sink grown plant.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
