how can u be prego again
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
