I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
