how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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