its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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