so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
