you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
