Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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