I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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