I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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