People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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