you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How's work?
Spinning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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