Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
