Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
