I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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