Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
