I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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