at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
