I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
