ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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