he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
