Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
