Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
