I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
