sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
