I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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