oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
